Moving Forward

That afternoon Danny and Davy were in their usual place rocking on Danny’s porch in the two white chairs.
“You ever feel proud,” asked Davy.
“Oh yes, I’m feeling it right now. Danny, we have a lot to be proud of.”
“Yes, but pride goeth before the fall.
“Proverbs or Shakespear?”
“Does it matter?”
“No, not really, but let’s enjoy it before we fall.”
“Okay, let’s.”
Just then the phone rang. Davy answered it. “That was Bubba. He said to turn the television to channel fourteen and hurry.”
“Channel fourteen, that’s one of those Christian channels,” said Danny as he punched the remote control. “Here it is.”
“The woman was confused by Jesus’s statement and noticed Jesus had nothing in which to draw water for his drink. When she mentioned this to Jesus he told her that if one drinks from the well, in time they would again be thirsty, but if one drinks from the well of God, they would never again thirst. When the woman confided in him that she believed the Messiah would someday come and reveal all, Jesus confided. . .”
“What is this?” asked Davy.
“I don’t know what the show is, but what’s being said is my exact words from when Billy-Bob and I did the service on the woman at the well, what, two months ago. I recognize it. That was my part.”
In a few minutes, when it was time for the sermon, a familiar face came onto the screen. It was Danny and Davy’s old friend Reverend Hamm.
“I am not believing this,” said Davy. “That low-bred scum. We wouldn’t do it for him, so he stole it.”
Danny said nothing.
They sat there and watched the rest of the telecast. Just as the show was finishing, Bubba came in followed by Billy-Bob. “What are we going to do?” shouted Billy-Bob.
“My suggestion is we sue the son-of-a-bitch,” said Davy.
For the next few minutes thoughts and suggestions were shouted back and forth. The whole time, Danny said nothing. When things quieted down Danny asked, “Are you all through?”
When no one said any more Danny began. “First, I don’t know if there’s any such thing as a copyright on a church service and neother do I care. Second, I don’t like Hamm or any of those television preachers. And third, wait three weeks. On the third week Hamm goes down.
The others shot looks back and forth at each other and at Danny. Danny smiled and said, “Three weeks. On the fourth week you will know.”
At first, all their pleas for an answer to what Danny was talking about went unanswered, until Danny said, “We’re going to play a little game amongst ourselves. We’re going to see how smart old Danny is.”
More looks around the room.
“Bubba, what is the high point of our service?”
Bubba shifted in his seat. “I would probably say the way we present the scripture, it’s almost theatric.”
“I agree,” said Davy.
“Okay, I agree too,” said Danny and what’s an important part of that scripture service?”
For a moment there was total silence until Billy-Bob shouted out, “The questions and answers.”
Danny looked at Davy. “This is a good guy you have here. Where did you find him?”
Billy-Bob grinned from ear to ear.
“Okay,” said Danny, “Next week we’ll all meet here and together we’ll watch Reverend Hamm make a fool of himself. And,” Danny made some mystical motions with his hands, “I will tell what will happen before it happens. I will show you my mysterious ability as a prophet. Now, since we’re all together, is there anything we need to talk about? Call Dominick and Gorge.”
What had begun as a shocking witness of Reverend Hamm ended as a party among the six Baptist Episcopal ministers lasting over three hours. Their discussions ranged from plans for upcoming services to a few off-color jokes.
Just as planned, a week later the six of them gathered at Danny’s cabin and as he was passing out the cold drinks, Danny announced. “Hamm’s not the only one who can plan out an event. Let’s try this on for size. Last week Billy-Bob said one of the important parts of our service is the question and answer part. Everybody agree?”
Everyone nodded.
“Okay, Hamm did not do this last week. Am I right?”
Again, they nodded.
Danny put his hand to his head like some eastern mystic, “Then, I predict that tonight, Reverend Hamm will have a question and answer session.”
The others looked confused. Danny said, “Just wait and see.”
Hamm’s show began in the usual way with the usual hymns and ads offering books and trinkets for a love offering. In a couple of minutes a man came on the screen. “Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, and said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you? And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver. And from that time he sought opportunity to betray him.”
Gorge suddenly turned white and he shouted something in Spanish.
“English, Gorge, English,” said Danny.
“Si. That is the story of Judas. Dominick and I did it here at Camp Eden a few weeks ago. How in the world?”
Danny reached over to a table by his chair, picked up something and clicked it. “Tape recorder, Gorge, I guarantee you that every one of or services have been recorded.”
When the story of Judas concluded, the presenter asked, “Now, are there any questions?” Every eye jumped to Danny. “How did you–“
”Just keep watching,” said Danny.
As nine o’clock approached, someone said, “They’re probably going to show the other half next week.” But as nine o’clock passed, Danny stood and said, “We got him now.” and clapped his hands together. Everyone looked at Danny who said, “Just watch.”
About nine-twenty, Hamm stood and gave his sermon. Word for word it was the same sermon Dominick had given several weeks before. Afterwards, Hamm asked if there were any questions. At ten o’clock the questions were still coming, but the screen went black and a commercial came on.
Davy looked toward Danny. “Okay, Mr. Prognosticator or prophet or whatever you want to call yourself, what’s going on?”